Never That Easy
by Asphyxiated Angst
Summary: She should have known that that wouldn’t be the end of it, whatever ‘it’ was, it was never that easy, it could never be that simple. [first sequel to Rain]


Never That Easy

Summary: She should have known that that wouldn't be the end of it, whatever 'it' was, it was never that easy, it could never be that simple.

First Sequel to Rain.

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"John I thought that we agreed to leave the past where it belongs. We've done this too many times already, let's not do it again John, please. It's too hard on me, that and it's happened more times than it should've, and all those times – every single one of those times – it ended and it ended badly. There was not one time where it did not end badly and you can't look at me in they eyes and lie to me and say that there was a time – or more than one time – where it didn't end badly. Just don't bother to lie to me anymore John, you don't love me, you never did, it shouldn't matter anymore." She said, placing her hands on her hips, looking up at him.

"No Amy. YOU agreed that we were gonna leave the past 'where it belongs' an' whatnot. An' you don't think that's even a little selfish. Huh Amy? It hasn't exactly been easy for me either an' it hasn't happened too many times. It was meant to be don't you get that Amy? We shouldn't have broken up so many times; in fact we shouldn't have ever broken up at all coz as far as I'm concerned you're the only thing that's real, – the only thing that's solid – in my entire life. You're the only one that's meant for me baby don't shut me out. I cant lie to you, you're right about that, I could never lie to you," he said, his eyes softening at the look on her face, "I would never be able to lie to you. It did end badly all those times we broke up, but I regret that, more than anything else I've ever done – besides leaving of course, that was the biggest mistake that I ever made. I do love you, I did love you, I have always loved you. Matter of fact, I never stopped loving you Amy, an' how should it not matter anymore? We have a child together Amy, an' baby that's somethin' that nobody can ever change, that an' the love that I will always have for you. But Amy please can't you give me another chance? Give 'us' another try, please, if not for me or you do it for our daughter, for our little baby girl. Don't you think that she deserves a chance to have a happy family Ames?" He finished, locking his eyes with hers.

"Oh God, John, don't you understand it. It's not you, it isn't her, and it isn't me. It's this John. Don't you see it we're stuck in a rut? We are stuck in a fucking rut we keep repeating the process, over and over and over until we can't breathe anymore because we have done this so many fucking times before. We're gonna get sick of it soon John, soon enough we're never gonna wanna see each other again, and what do you think that that is gonna do to our baby girl, John? It sure isn't gonna make her happy. We can be friends John. Friends and nothing more, that's all that I'm willing to give you at the moment. But John, I could never shut you out, that's one of the things that I could never do to you." She said, turning her head around.

"But Amy, you're wrong – you're so fucking wrong – coz Ames whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not, it is you Amy. You're being selfish, you're acting like I don't deserve a second chance, I think I deserve a try, I'm a better man now Ames, I've come back and I've changed for the better, I can do this now, whatever 'this' is I can do it now, I don't have to run away from anything anymore, I've learnt to deal with my problems now and I can make it all work now. We don't have to keep repeating the process Ames coz this time we aren't gonna break up an' if you cant breathe baby, I'll give you room, I'll give you space, whatever you need so we can make it work. But Amy I can never ever get sick of you, I'll always wanna see your beautiful face, I wanna see your face every night before I go to sleep I want to see it every morning when I wake up. Don't you see that? It's gonna work out perfect Amy, an' in the end it'll all work out an' we can be a big happy family an' anythin' else you might want. Amy I don't want friends, I have friends, I have enough friends for the three of us dammit, I want more than friends baby, why cant you see that? It's all or nothin' you choose now Amy, I just want you to know that whatever happens I don't want you to resent me, that's what I don't want more than anythin' I just wanted you to know that." He crossed his arms across his chest, looking down expectedly at her.

"You're right John, I am being selfish but it isn't just for me John, it's for all of us, don't you see that I want it to work as well? More than anything else in the world I wanna be with you but it just can't happen John. You do deserve a try and you do deserve a second chance John, but the thing is you got a try – you broke my fucking heart John and it hurt – it hurt like Hell. You got a second chance too and you blew it – you fucking blew it John. You couldn't handle it before John and I'm pretty damn sure that you can't handle it now, that time apart – though it was long – didn't change you in the least John, you're still the man I fell in love with," she said, a whimsical tone in her voice as she said that, "You say that you can never get sick of seeing my face, but if I let this happen again, you're going to end up resenting me for holding you back from everything that all the other guys your age did, and I don't wanna be the one tying you down and holding you back from what you really wanna do John, I don't wanna be the bad guy, and I know that that is selfish but it's true coz the last thing I want is for you to resent me for tying you down so damn young. It can never work out perfect John, 'perfect' doesn't exist in real life, no matter what you say or what you're thinking John, perfect just doesn't exist. All or nothing? You really want me to choose right now? Okay then. I will. Nothing John, I choose nothing. I can't give you what you want and need and deserve and for that I'm truly sorry John, I can't be with a man that considers me a problem, I hope you understand that John. Goodbye." She said, turning on her heel, this had been their second of what they didn't know would be many goodbye's.

"It's not 'goodbye' Amy, with us it ain't ever goodbye. It's just – just…it's just a "see ya round" baby, an' we'll get back from it, we always do Amy, I'm just sorry I can't be your hero, princess, but just for the record, I could never resent you Ames." He said, also turning around.

"I never wanted a superhero," she stated, turning her head towards his back, "but since we're apologising and everything now, I'm sorry I could never be your perfect little Barbie doll, but I'm not sorry that I'm not made out of plastic." She said, smiling sadly at him, not quite caring that the smile didn't manage to reach her eyes.

"I never wanted a perfect person an' I sure as Hell never wanted a Barbie doll Ames, the only thing I ever wanted was you baby." He said, returning the sad smile. "But it was really great seein' you again Amy, you really do look as gorgeous as people say you do, motherhood has done nothing but make you look even more beautiful." He admitted, giving her a slightly bashful smile.

She walked forward, shifting her weight from foot to foot, acting as if she had just missed what he had just said and done.

She walked through the dark blue door slowly, as if waiting for him to run after her or to call her name or something, or anything, any sign that he still cared like he said he did…but nothing.

She disappeared out of the door, and out of his life…

…but was it really the end of it? Was it really the end of them? Would there ever be an end to them? Who knew, all he knew was all that she knew and all that she knew was that she was still in love with him and that was all she really needed to know.

But it was never that easy.

As the rain fall and she walked out of his life and he walked right out of hers they knew that it didn't matter anymore because they would probably never meet again…no matter how much they searched for each other…deep down they thought that it was the thrill of the chase.

…but was it really?

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Notes: That was something that just came to me when I was sitting at the computer with a blank document. I hope everybody enjoyed the long awaited – or maybe not so long awaited – sequel to 'Rain'. Tune in for any other updates. I should be posting a chapter or 2 for "Once in a lifetime" today or tomorrow, and I've written the first chapter of the sequel to 'Feeling' the new fic is called "Collision Course" and I hope that you all enjoy that. I love you all, reviews are appreciated and mean more than you will understand. Reviews will help me with ideas and they shall help me update faster I hoe that that gives you lovely readers some ideas :P.

Kathy


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